First Love
“Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.”
Revelation 2:4
First love. I have heard these two words so many times without knowing what they meant. I take things very literally, and I assumed it represented the first person you ever loved. I met Jesus early on in my life. I honestly don’t remember ever not knowing or believing in Him. So to me, I assumed that He was chronologically my first love. Revelation 2:4 was an invitation to return to the first person I loved, Jesus.
Honestly, though, it always confused me. What did Revelation 2:4 mean for my husband, who did not give his life to Jesus until he was 20? Jesus was obviously not his first love. So what did this verse mean for him? Did it not apply to him?
I could not make sense of it, so I continued to take it literally in my mind. God showed me recently more about this verse and what I was missing. Revelation 2:4 is an invitation to all of us who follow Jesus. He is knocking on the doors of our hearts and calling us back to Him being first in our lives.
God is not talking about the first person we ever loved. He is talking about who we love most. Who is our highest love? Who is our supreme love? What do we put first? What we put first in our lives is our first love.
Jesus should be our first love! Revelation 2:4 is His heart for us, His bride, to come back to Him and live a life that puts Him first.
For some, we may place another person, a celebrity, families, our careers, or even serving and doing ministry above Jesus. We can be doing the right things and still be missing it.
You can be serving in the name of Jesus, and Him not be your first love.
What a sobering reality.
I love the story of Mary and Martha. This story paints a beautiful picture of what Jesus being our first love, should look like.
Mary & Martha
“38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” 41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42
Martha was not doing anything inherently wrong or evil. She was serving and preparing. She was doing the things that needed to get done. But, she was distracted and completely missing her first love. She was serving Jesus instead of being with Him.
Martha asked Jesus to rebuke Mary, who was not helping her. Instead, Jesus said Mary was doing the one good thing. Mary was putting Jesus, her first love, first. Not just saying it with her words, but resting at His feet. Martha was acting in a manner of trying to earn and strive. She needed to get everything done and make sure everything looked good. While Martha was not doing anything bad, she still missed her first love. Martha's actions were not endorsed at all by Jesus.
Jesus is not after all that we can do and what we can accomplish. He is after our hearts. That means that we can be the best servants and completely miss Jesus. We can be the one who never misses any event at church yet never sit at His feet. We can go through our Christian checklists of habits we are supposed to do and still not know Him. That is frightening.
“21 “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22 On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23 But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’”
Matthew 7:21-23
In the above verse, it seems that all of these people cried, “Lord! Lord!” were shocked by Jesus’ response. They said, “but look at all we have done for You.” It does not seem like these people were terrible. They were ordinary people like you and me trying to do all the right things. They probably looked like they had it all together. They were perhaps the ones who filled their schedules and were super busy for the kingdom.
They were busy doing all the things…
Yet, Jesus didn't know them.
Jesus wants our hearts. He wants us to put Him first and for our serving and ministry to be an overflow of our love for Him. He does not need us to do everything and be at everything. He wants us to be ones that He knows. Ones that spend time with Him. Not just ones who do a lot for Him.
I have lived similar to this lifestyle. I was passionate, and I was doing all the stuff. I checked off every box, was at every event, and my calendar was full. I did make time to stop every now and then and just rest at His feet, but honestly, I did not know how to rest.
I served from a place of striving. God taught me that when I strive, I do everything with my own strength. When we strive, it says that we don’t need God. Of course, that was never my heart. My heart was for God, and I did truly love Him. Yet I thought I had to do it all and be perfect. I had to earn and deserve His love.
When we strive, we seek purpose and validation from those around us. Our attention and focus are not on Him; it’s on ourselves.
From the outside, I looked like I was in health. People would ask how I could do it all and continually be going. Honestly, I thought I was in health too. I thought I was special and could do it all, all while God was pursuing me and telling me to stop and slow down.
Friends, busyness, and high performance are not signs of health. They are signs of insecurity and striving.
God wants us to lay all of that down and come back to our first love. He wants to be the highest in our lives. He wants to be above even all the things we do for Him and in His name. If He is not first, none of that even matters.
Your schedule does not define you.
You are not defined by how much you accomplish.
You are not defined by checking off all the checkboxes.
You are defined as a child of God who has been loved for all of eternity. We are not orphans who have to strive for our place. We are sons and daughters who can rest with our Father and live without any insecurities.
Insecurities are areas where we don’t know who we are. Areas in that we have not received God’s love. It is those areas that cause us to strive and look for validation. Where we may look passionate but are lukewarm.
God showed me that my definition of lukewarm is different than His.
“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! 16 But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! 17 You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. 18 So I advise you to buy gold from me—gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness, and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see. 19 I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference. 20 “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. 21 Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne.”
Revelation 3:15-21
I thought lukewarm meant lazy, half-hearted, not fully in. That surely was not me at all. I was passionate and all in for Jesus. I was wrong yet again.
Revelation 3 tells us that being lukewarm means that we are not depending on God. We are striving and doing things on our own. Just like the people who called out, “Lord! Lord!” and Jesus said I never knew you.
Any areas of striving or busyness I have in my life came from feeling like I had to do it on my own, I had to perform, I had to prove, I, I ,I , I.
That’s the problem... It was “I” not Him.
God has set me free from striving, and I have never had so much peace and rest. He brought me back to my first love. I didn't realize what health was until I slowed down and sat long enough to receive His love.
He took me on a journey where I had to confront the root of my insecurities and striving. While it is hard to go back, when we go back with Him, we receive freedom and breakthrough.
Now I can focus on my first love—the one good thing. At the end of it all, I want to be one that He knows. Everything else can wait.
The most important thing I do is spend time with God. The best place for me to be is at His feet.
I don’t have to do everything.
I don’t have to be at everything.
I don’t have to prove myself.
I don’t have to strive.
I am not validated by how busy I am.
It is not about how much we do.
It is not about how busy our schedules are.
It is about our hearts.
Today is a new day. Today is an invitation to come back to your first love. Lay everything else aside and prioritize being at His feet.
Do you have areas of insecurity?
Do you ever find yourself striving or performing?
Do you seek validation for all that you can accomplish?
Ask Jesus to take you to the root. Let Him in to do what only He can do. Get rid of insecurity, striving, and seeking validation, and return to your first love.
Your life will never be the same.
