Choices
As I drive down the road heading home, I realize I have a choice: do I complain that my day didn’t go as planned, or do I drink in this beautiful sunset and take the scenic route home?
You see, today was okay, aside from one patient I treated that took half of my lunch break to have me explain to her again exercises that we reviewed in exhaustive detail the day prior or the fact that I worked too late because that’s a journey of mine learning to say no and realize when enough is enough. Accepting that I can’t meet everyone’s needs in healthcare, or after working a long day, realizing I desperately needed oat milk for my morning coffee because Americanos are just not as good no matter what I tell myself, so why not get all the other groceries I need while I’m at it, right?
Or the fact that as I was walking to my car, feeling the warm sun on my skin and not knowing if the sun would come again this week - it’s Oregon - I longed to take a long walk through our neighborhood and breathe in the fresh air and take in all of God’s glorious creation but instead in the last minutes of the sun, I felt Holy Spirit highlight a lady in the grocery store parking lot who I found out did not speak English so after almost calling it good, Holy Spirit convicted my heart again with a big one:
“I pursue you this much.”
After complaining that I had already tried and arguing that she wouldn’t understand me, hearing the Holy Spirit’s longing for me gave me the motivation to suck it up and obey Him. I got to share the truth of what Jesus did to pay for her sins and how much He loves her, and although she refused to receive Jesus or prayer at that moment, I was obedient.
I headed home with another stop for gas and smiled and thanked the attendant genuinely. I lowered the windows and decided that no matter what, I would enjoy my ride home. I breathed in the fresh air as I took a long way home through the farms and laughed out loud because God was filling me with so much joy.
In that drive, I realized something simple yet profoundly true. It truly doesn’t matter what happens during my day, at least regarding the joy I hold.
I used to get stressed out on days like today and whine and complain and feel sorry for myself; pathetic, I know, but I was covert about it. I mostly bottled it up until I felt utterly exhausted, which is a HUGE red flag that I’m battling the spirit of heaviness. Through the prophet Isaiah in chapter 61, God refers to Jesus, saying He gives us the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
The garment of praise is first a choice but, simultaneously, a gift from God.
I have fought this spirit of heaviness multiple times in my life and even so far as being diagnosed with clinical depression. I can genuinely say that I’m winning in many areas by the grace and leading of the Holy Spirit!
Contentment truly is a choice AND a gift.
It’s not something we can just will ourselves to choose; there also has to be grace on it from God, which comes when we depend on Him and realize we need Him. Not much turned out how I planned today, except for lunch because today is always my favorite lunch day at work (burrito bowls are the best!), but still, I have joy at the end of the day even after getting home after 7:30 pm.
Freedom is available for you, and an overflow of joy is ready to be yours. I encourage you to join me in choosing to live in the fullness of life provided by Jesus’ sacrifice powered by His grace. God has given us a choice to choose life or death, from the smallest to the most significant things in life. Lets choose life, friend.
